If you don't have a criminal record and you like getting caught in the rain

After the military coup in fiji, the army chief decided to place a few classified ads in local papers; anyone can become a government minsiter so long as they have a clean record and aren't bankrupt! I guess there's a whole bunch of people in Fiji who really wish they hadn't had that "one" toke in college.

When Politics Meets Star Trek...

Beloved readers, this may be the most important video ever posted on here, if you are going to watch one internet video this year, make sure it's this one.

David Wu, we love U

Please note, the part with Bush at the end is not what I'm refering to because it sucks

Reality Bites; don't mess with Bollywood

Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty was racially abused by three other contestants on the reality tv show, celebrity big brother. The ringleader of the gang, permier non celebrity Jade Goody apparently cut a deal with the show's producers in which she would act like a provincial idiot to generate higher ratings, and in return would automatically win the contest.

There has been massive outrage in India towards Goody, and India's prime minister Manmohan Singh, has suggested that he may lead his country into war against Goody's own Transalgoodia (a small area in essex, which she declared her own country)


Politician Gordon Brown also tried to get into the action by announcing something about how Indians know that the UK is a tolerant country, but the shows producers said that his crummy effort didn't desreve any illegitemate monies.

"sure she has the face of a naplam survivor, but check out those breasts!"

(facts remain unverified)

Surf's on Islam!

we've all seen rapping rabbis, but that was so 2006, I say welcome to 2007 and welcome to the BURKINI!!! a burkah for the beach! Surfing muslims have created this relgious swim wear with which they can pound the waves while mantaining that devout look thats sooo in at the moment.

Bangla Vicrum: JUST MARRIED

my colleuge (however its spelt) and your cultural liberator has finally settled down with a nice female (?)


who knew he was suh a trekkie

live long and prosper, your friend Milo Hemholtz

TIME for some new stories

As an avid reader of time magazine I feel that I have the exclusive rights to complain about it:
has anyone ever noticed how recently time has like 3 different stories and nothing else?
1) the war in iraq etc.
2) how great china is ( we get it, it's rich)
3) how excelent dumb things like myspace and youtube are, and announcing that people like myself (taking the internet into my own hands) are "man of the year"

2000sucks' opinion?

IT SUCKS!

Back Online

We've been offline for aproximatley a month now, and I figured that some of our readers may be bored of seeing the hebrew hammer everytime they check up (akthough it is awesome), so Im going to try to restart the barage of posts with german speed and presicion.
2000 sucks' reign of terror isnt over!

The Hewbrew Hammer

Right, this is a 2000sucks first, this is oficially not photoshopped, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HOMIE




The Hebrew Hammer is a film that was released in 2003. It stars Adam Goldberg, Judy Greer, Andy Dick, Mario Van Peebles, and Peter Coyote. The plot concerns a Jewish superhero known as The Hebrew Hammer who must save Hanukkah from the evil son of Santa Claus who wants to destroy Hanukkah and make everyone celebrate Christmas.

I need to see this movie

dawn of the head (of state)

pow!

yo, people are gettin slack on this mother fucker so check this fuckin ill old skool beastie boys video!



woooooord

Richard Simmons eats corn just like you scumbag!

This just in... Richard Simmons was caught eating corn! the rumors are true, celebrities are in fact just like you or me, they eat corn!!!


and im not even stoned

Diversify, Fool!

recognize, ya'll lovin the cyber goodness of 2000sucks, but suckas better realise that soon we're gonna be in print too! WURRD!!! so if any of you crackas go to BHASVIC than you can check us in our brand spankin new column in CHAVSBIC (student zine) appearing in the issue after the next isuue. YES!

Kid america club kickin it

on a lighter note, this video is fucking ill

Issues 2 by Bangla

first of all, all these cyber players who think theyre big shots, they aint. Big with the ladys? only on myspace fool

secondly, shit bands who are getting recognition, gigs, record deals ETC. They all fucking suck, if stalin was alive now hed fucking love them becuase they are all the same and equally as poor.

thirdly, they teachin us about nothin'! education system = shit

4th point, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE WEATHER? i almost got fucking drowned by excess of water seeping into my pores today, garunteed though, i will have to wear fucking shorts tomorow becuase its so hot. global warming isnt all its cracked up to be, mother earth should sort herself fucking out

5th point, fucking idiots from worthing

6th point, your mother

Fast times at class A high

I was sifting through the copious amounts of images on my old computer when I stumbled over this beauty...


Now ya'll know that my crew parties hearty, and here's some proof, this was the contents of the inner pocket of my tailor made suit at my high school prom. Hell yeah, funny story; a bunch of kids had to get up on stage to anounce how much they loved the crummy school, and I got up smashed a glass and screamed at them how they owed me money and that they should get their knives out, or so Im told, I don't really remember much after munching out on a couple of those purple bad boys

Pesky porkers

FUCK
check this mad news out

A three-year-old boy has been eaten alive by a neighbour's herd of pigs on the outskirts of the Indian capital, Delhi, police say.

The boy, Ajay, strayed from the family home as his parents and other family members were having lunch.

When his mother went to look for him, she found the pigs chewing something and spotted bits of her son's clothing.

She threw stones at the animals but they turned on her. Her screams alerted neighbours who came to her rescue.

'Playing'

Relatives in the village of Samaipur Badli in north-west Delhi told police the boy had been carrying bread, which might have led the animals to attack him.

A senior police official, Manish Aggarwal, said a local man who owned the pigs had been detained for causing death due to negligence.

"Three children were playing outside their house when the incident took place," Mr Aggarwal told the BBC.

"The victim, Ajay, strayed from the area but his parents or relatives were not there to save him since they were having lunch inside their house."

in tha G buildin'

now everyone knows wasted musicians, especially rappers, are funny so here is ODB on Yo!MTV raps.

SHAOLIN! WHAT WHAT

It's in the bag

this isnt just a funny looking girl with a freakishly large backpack, she's a complete weirdo and her bag is full of 200 copies of "pride and prejudice" by jane austin!!! I don't have a better photo because she completely freaks out if she sees you taking a picture of her, she starts like hissing and stuff on the floor! Her parents a both science teachers so i guess that kind of explains it.

Nothing to post

There haven't been any posts on here in almost two days, I apologize sincerely, but there isn't anything to post about! The news is boring, people are whining about getting poinsoned and they're probably just making it up to get attention, but I do feel kinda sorry for the Russian guy because he looked like a broken man even before he died.
I expected north Korea to get invaded but that didn't happen, I guess America should've saved it's resources rather than blow them on Iraq, also the maoist rebels in Nepal just signed a peace treaty ending a 10 year civil, which seems a little lazy since they already had like 75% of the country and could've probably taken over the rest of it in a final push.

anyway, I might put some of the stuff on my camera on here, it mainly includes videos of my friends yo yoing and pictures of dumb looking people at college

RIGHT, heres your main man, bangla bringin you all the freshest newz on the animal kingdom. today im featuring this bad boy



This is a mystic llama called Tshombi. Hes from somewhere in the mountains but you gotta realize he can read minds. thats right people from some villages have proven it.

sometimes at night they can hear him crying from his mountain cave

Imigrants are stealing our crisps (potato chips)

Illeagal immigrants are stealing our daughters, jobs and now CRISPS!

ha not really, psych!

MC Junior W

theres nothing to write, you just need to watch it...

mushroom madness

alright, check this, i wake up, sunday afternoon, its my brothers birthday but only today do i see what he got..



what is this?? a fuckin' mushroom growing kit???? i guess my brother must like mushrooms.
unwins must be pretty desperate to get any kind of customers right about now seeing they are going well bankrupt. i feel sorry for unwins seeing it has been basicly bought out by threshers, now there will only be poor kids like me shopping there for cheap alcohol.

fiddy gets pwned

here is a nice video of fiddy and g-unit get the fuck bottled out of them





pwned

Casper the friendly primate

you may have noticed the recent shift fron rap season to animal season, mainly due impart to Bangla's arrival, here is one for both cattegories...
This happy camper is Casper the albino Gorilla (it's name isn't actually casper, thats just what ive decided to call it), it's an albino gorilla!!!


Casper performs raps at the 3 O'clock zoo show, but they smashed my video camera when I tried to film it.
During the show he is called "vanilla fur", the gun looks kinda crappy but the zoo guy told me it was just a replica

Do you yahoo?

It has come to my attention that the yahoo videos aren't working properly, all you gots to do is press play few times and be patient, some of them are well worth watching (especially an inconveniant rap!). pimp pimp!

also look out, since I've finally found my camera cable, I may be adding to some previous posts over the next few days, but then again I might not. ROFL!

The Horror!

I've seen some pretty awful things in my time, but nothing like this.



It's nastier than chinatown!

911 IS A JOKE! (and so is MTV)

I have uncovered another HUGE consiparacy, which is being spearheaded by MTV network execs to spin more money AND take money away from poor black communities AND mislead kids into indolizing fake role models. Damn thats eveil!

OK so heres the inside scoop...
All your favorite rap stars (Jay-Z, DMX, Snoop etc. etc.) do not actually exist!!! they are infact all voiced by the guy in the video below and when onstage, they are illusions created by complex smoke and hologram effects (ever been to a rap concert without smoke of some kind?). As always - we're through the looking glass here people...

An inconvenient rap

continuing with our rap season (because things are funnier when they are rapped) we have Al "celebrate good times" Gore kickin' it out to some ice cold beats. Now if only we could say the same thing about the polar ice caps in 10 years time. Ho hum.

rockin' their rhymes all the way to Hell's gate

my main men the beastie boys representing in a hilarious clip from some random japanese tv show

Its gozilla! we must flee!

YO, check this, adding to my previous incitefull post on Komodo Dragons, here is a sweet video of a ruckus between two of them

#

reminds me of gozilla

this is so lame!

this is an actual review of "lost in translation" i found on screenit.com, I perosnally like the film a lot, and if anyone has seen it they'll know that it's like the most gentle 15(R) rated film ever, but this parental review (which is linked to several harsh feminist sites) blows it out of all proportion and makes the author sound like Bill O'riley... it's pretty funny

OUR WORD TO PARENTS:
The following is a brief summary of the content found in this drama that's been rated R. Profanity consists of several uses of the "s" word and slang for breasts, while other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. Exotic dancers are seen doing their thing in a strip club (we see bare breasts and most of their bare butts in their g-strings), while it's heavily suggested that a married man has a one-night stand with a lounge singer.
The lead female character is seen many times in her panties (not in a sensational way), while a masseuse comes on to a client and wants him to rip her stockings (he tries to get away from her as she briefly pulls him down onto him). Various characters smoke and/or drink, and some have bad attitudes.

Some tense family material is present, while one scene involves a man pulling out and shooting what turns out to be a realistic-looking but apparently fake machine gun. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content.

ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE
We see a liquor ad featuring Bob with a bottle and glass of whiskey.
Miscellaneous people drink in a bar where Bob has some whiskey.
We see Bob shooting a spot for the liquor ad and see what looks like whiskey in a glass (he later says that it's iced tea as a stand-in).
Bob does a photo shoot for the liquor ad and holds a glass of what looks like whiskey but is iced tea. Someone asks if he's drinking and he drolly says, "As soon as I'm done" (meaning shooting the photos).
Bob has a drink in a lounge, as do others.
Bob has a drink in the bar where Charlotte orders a vodka tonic.
Various people have drinks in a bar, including John, Charlotte, Kelly and another man, while Bob also drinks.
After Bob jokingly talks about leading a prison break, he tells Charlotte that he hopes she's had enough to drink since the break is going to take courage.
We see a person who appears to be drunk.
Bob and others drink at a party where the night wears on and more drinking occurs, including Bob doing a shot of liquor.
Following that night of partying, Bob carries Charlotte back to her room and she never wakes up (she may or may not be passed out and nothing happens between them).
Bob and Charlotte drink what might be wine of some sort.
Bob drinks some whiskey while a lounge singer orders some champagne (that we later see in Bob's room).
Bob orders a beer with lunch.
Miscellaneous people have drinks in a bar.
BLOOD/GORE
None.
DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE
Bob and Charlotte lie side-by-side on a bed (clothed) as they chat and he briefly puts his hand on her foot. Although both are unhappy with their marriages, Bob and Charlotte teeter on cheating with each other (they do briefly kiss on the lips as they say good-bye, but nothing else happens).
Bob has an apparent one-night stand with a lounge singer.
FRIGHTENING SCENES
After a drunken patron gets rowdy, a bartender pulls out what appears to be a machine gun and fires at him and others (we see flashes of light from its barrel, but it must be a fake or toy as no bullets come out).
GUNS/WEAPONS
Bob watches a Japanese movie that shows a man with a sword already in his gut (we don't know from what and there's no blood or gore) as he falls over.
After a drunken patron gets rowdy, a bartender pulls out what appears to be a machine gun and fires at him and others (we see flashes of light from its barrel, but it must be a fake or toy as no bullets come out).
IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR
Phrases: "Some crazy sh*t," "Shut up," "Give a damn," "Moron" and "Snotty."
A miscellaneous person has various tattoos.
JUMP SCENES
None.
MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE)
None.
MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE)
A song (heard in a strip club) repeats the line, "Sucking on my t*tties."
PROFANITY
At least 2 "s" words, 3 slang terms for breasts ("t*tties" in a song), 1 damn, 1 hell, 4 uses of "Oh my God" and 1 use each of "For Christ's sakes" and "God."
SEX/NUDITY
We see a stationary shot of Charlotte's midsection as she lies sideways on a bed (facing away from us) wearing partially transparent panties.
We see lots of Charlotte's thigh as she sits in the window of her hotel room in her panties.
We see Charlotte in her panties and a shirt standing on a bed, and then see her again in the same attire when John comes back.
A masseuse arrives in Bob's hotel room, a "gift" from someone else. She shows cleavage and a great deal of thigh as she wants him to rip her stockings (in some sort of game). After he finally understands what she's saying (due to her thick accent she sounds like she's saying "lip" rather than "rip" them), he barely touches her and she starts acting crazy and pulling him down onto her on the floor. He wants nothing to do with her and tries to get away.
We see Charlotte in her panties (and see lots of thigh).
A song (heard in a strip club) repeats the line, "Sucking on my t*tties."
We see Bob and others in a strip club watching various bare-breasted women dance and cavort about (in sexual ways including crawling on all fours and spreading one's legs while lying on her back) in small g-strings (that show most of their bare butts).
We see Charlotte in her panties.
It's implied that Bob and a lounge singer had sex as he wakes up in his bed the next morning and she's in his place.
SMOKING
Bob smokes cigars several times and once shares a cigarette with Charlotte who smokes several times. Various miscellaneous characters also smoke.
TENSE FAMILY SCENES
There's some tense family material between Bob and his wife (who we only hear on the phone) as they're obviously not happy in their marriage. Bob also gets a note from his wife that he forgot their son's birthday.
Charlotte tells a friend on the phone that she doesn't know who she married (but her unhappiness is more with herself than with John).
TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT
Midlife crises.
Identity crises (people not happy with themselves or knowing who or what they are or should be).
Visiting a foreign land where you don't understand the language.
Ad campaigns (commercials, photo shoots, etc.).
Insomnia.
VIOLENCE
Bob accidentally breaks a lamp while trying to get away from an apparently crazed masseuse.
Bob watches a Japanese movie that shows a man with a sword already in his gut (we don't know from what and there's no blood or gore) as he falls over.
After a drunken patron gets rowdy, a bartender pulls out what appears to be a machine gun and fires at him and others (we see flashes of light from its barrel, but it must be a fake or toy as no bullets come out). He then chases after that man who then throws a bottle back in the bartender's direction on the street where it breaks upon impact.

Nerdcore Rap

Is this proof that nerds are now cool or is it just loser white kids that listen to too much snoop dog?



the "futuristic sex robots' crew seem to be pioneering the new genre, the halo rap in my previous post was by them too.

Counterstrike vs Halo rap battle

You Decide (obviously CS)

Ku Klux Kramer

This is just a heads up to let everyone know that I haven't overlooked Micahel Richards' (kramer) recent outburst, but I just assumed that everyone already knew about it so I didn't bother putting it up.
Also we're welcoming a new member to the 2000sucks team; Bangla Vikrum has already dropped some science about komodo dragons, and i'm sure everyone eagerly anticipates the next post.
Holla!

Komodo Dragons Kickin' it

Yo, check this wackin great lizards, residing straight from Indonesia, these vertebrates will bite you OLD SKOOL. If you come steppin' to these lot you wont be goin' back home; they have virulent bacteria in their saliva (apparently 15 diferent strains have been discovered) so this means once you've been bitten you guna get all infected and cop out.



no-one has ever seen a Komodo Dragon fly but this one seems to be tryin

Attack of the Librerian (however it's spelt)

me and my homeboy were cold chillin in the library,
when some G came steppin to tell us that this is "actually a silent working area" well I got news for her! she is actually a decrepid old whore. BO!
Pictures to come

The genious of weezer

I've decided to bring to everyones attention the often overlooked greatness of weezer lyrics,
Buddy Holly...


What's with these homies dissin' my girl?
Why do they gotta front?
What did we ever do to these guys
That made them so violent?

(just the first verse obviously)

Churchy strikes back

In a heated racial attack an enraged christian attacked my blog because of my semitic roots.
you can read his most recent posts under the second russian agency awards.
Mazel Tov!



I'm not sure which image depicts the scene more acurately.

Russian Talent Agency Awards II, about time!

Ladies and Gentlemen, for decades this award has been considered the most prestigious of all on this blog. Today let us honour
this years greatest from the russian talent agency...

Dimitri

Best Swordfighter.
"he really deserved it" - Michael Caine.

Angela

Most unaware of january 1st 2000
"someone should've told her" - Robert DeNiro.

Sergei

Best president Putin impression
"you mean it's not him?! Well now I feel like an idiot!" - Kevin Spacy

Olesya

Longest curtain worn around neck (2.71m)
"yeah it's pretty long - I guess" Meryl Streep

Where's the Beef?

Sombody calling themselves my worst nightmare seems to have a problem with my blog, hey tough guy leave a real message or go bukake your mother.

if you are actually one of my friends or something, then disregard

Martha Stewart: below dog, above cat

look at the witch on her book cover, I find this funny because unlike alot of stuff on here it is 100% unphotoshoped and 100% genuine. She must have really adapted to prison life

note: this isn't a prison jumps suit, it's just an unfortunate wardrobe choice

Issues

Theres a contributer to the blog whos not pulling his weight! hey jung sook, get your yellow ass in gear and put up some posts.

There are too many scumbags in my neighberhood, they do some wierd fucking things in their hell-hole appartments, and their buildings smell like condom lubricant and peroxide, im working on getting a telephoto lens to expose their sickness to the world.

cold and flu medicine sucks: I'm walking around chewing these capsulles like an idiot and my congestion is only getting worse, and i paid like a whole month's russian wage for them. then I see some girl I know who turns out to be a bum, but then i realise it actually is the girl from my history class, sittting in the gutter like a rat.

I tried to ride a bus today but i didn't have any change, so i break a ten and the driver gives me this look like "you stupid brat you think that you're impressing people with your paper money but you ain't shit" so he gives me back all my change in shrapnell as some kind of petty revenge for me disturbing his majesty's genious at work. well i got news for him! he ain't nothing! hes a cancer on society.

speaking of cancers on society, theres this kid who thinks he invented the EMO look! yeah something really to be proud of! he's whinin about other scumbags wearing tight tight black trousers and acting like rtards and he prentended to have cancer so that some whniey fucking sub human whore would have sympathy for him, then he shaved all his hair off and blamed it on chemo. I whish he actually did have cancer and that he was refused chemotherapy because hes so whiney that it would probably kill him. I think he's friends with Jung sook.

and another thing, every joe nobody is "serving up" now, this means gentle drug dealing by which they buy a small amount of something and sell it in even smaller amounts to their friends at like a 5% profit. what happend to Curtis Mayfield's idea of a pusherman, I wan't my drug dealer to know what the fuck he's doing and be able to merc any G thats steppin out of line in my neighberhood.

soon to come: agency awards II

The agency awards

We have selected the special few from the russian talent agency (which represents 32 people) to honour them with these awards...

Hottest

Most likely to appear in fetish porn where 19 year olds claim to be 12

Closest look-alike to Steve Buscemi (without actualy being Steve Buscemi)

Russian Talent Agency

The first in the series of russian talent agency:

Nikolai

actor/model

2000sucks senior languages anylist assures me that the cyrillic bio about him states that his main talent is winning at staring contests and his hobbies include typing about himself in quasi-bogus talent agencies.
Nice!

http://www.talentagency.ru/actor12/page0img107.html#%23topphoto

sozard, links are not working properly, just copy and paste you lazy infidels

Spot the difference!

These images have just recently been hacked off the CIA files, the first is a famous image of Gorbachev, the second is the CIA's top secret photo showing Gorbachev striking the same pose but WITHOUT THAT MARK ON HIS HEAD!!! This is hard evidence supporting the theory that the CIA kidnapped the original Gorbachev, and replaced him with an imposter Gorbachev who would bring down the Berlin wall and end the cold war letting America win. We're through the looking galss here people!

Interesting side note: as any street fighter fans will know, Gorbachev appears in Street Fighter II and dances.

Rape victims say the darndest things

Bill Cosby has settled a lawsuit out of court alleging he drugged and sexually assulted a woman. She claims that he gave her three blue pills which knocked her unconsious and then he molested her. she woke up with her bra undone and her clothes in disarray. Cosby had this to say:
"A word to the wise ain't nesecary - it's the stupid ones that need advice!"

Trick or Treat!

It's a little late, but heres your halloween treat...

the rumors are true, Mike Tyson sings the monster mash

BREAKING WIND

From CNN:

SEOUL, South Korea -- North Korea on Monday claimed it has performed a successful nuclear fart, according to that country's official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA).

South Korean government officials also said Kim Jong Il's atomic flatulence was "highly successful", the South's Yonhap news agency reported.

The apparent nuclear fart was conducted at 10:36 a.m. (1:36 a.m. GMT) in Hwaderi near Kilju city, Yonhap reported, citing defense officials.

"The field of scientific and flatulant research in the DPRK (North Korea's official name) in cooperation with the country's leader successfully conducted the nuclear fart under secure conditions on October 9 ... at a stirring time when all the people of the country are making a great leap forward in the building of a great prosperous powerful socialist nation," KCNA reported.

In Washington, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said, "We can't confirm independently, although we're aware of the reports."

A senior U.S. official said China was given a 20-minute warning ahead of the fart and in turn told the United States, Japan and South Korea about getting the advance notice.

A U.S. military official told CNN that "something clearly has happened," but the Pentagon was working to fully confirm the report.


In an ensuing wave of embarassment, Kim Jong Il denied farting and quickly passed a law which over ruled the previous law of "whoever denied it supplied it", CNN is told by DPRK's representative to the UN.

Lil' Jon X Yom Kipur

This proves just how great Judaism is...

The Moment of Truth!!!

I can't explain how long i've laboured to bring you this, a tv advert featuring the "big R" (the rocky robin) rocky's spokesbird rapping. It's probably the best ad thats ever been on tv and one of the best raps too!


The video has been removed due to techincal difficulties. If anyone hasn't yet seen it and would like to, leave a post and it will be put back for a while. sozard.

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

On sunday Samuel Bowers died (1924 - 2006)
Bowers was the grand wizard of the white knights of the ku klux klan, an extremely violent offshoot of the KKK. Bowers was involved in many murders directed at Black and Jewish targets. in 1998 he was charged with the mureder of Vernon Dahmer over 30 years prior. Anyway, now he's dead.
Not so tough now sam.

Our new promotional images

chigedy check yourself before you wreck yourself fools! heres two promotional pics which you suckas can post up on your myspaces of bebos or whatever retarded "friend making program" you use. Holla!! By the way, I'm well aware of the typo so you don't have to point it out cause it aint gonna get fixed

Some weird videos from the DPRK

http://www.robpongi.com/pages/comboKIMJONGIL.html

The link is definetly worth checking out, I can't put it on the actual blog becausr north korea will hate me and also it's a mish. But it's definetly the weirdest video and definetly not a joke

Do the Pigeon, Bitches!

Burt gets down aves (bird) style





soon to come: a video of me bustin the pigeon in a club and pickin up all the hot chicks!

A word from our sponsors:

So-Dam Insane!

Justice is done! (artist's impression)

Jagshemash! The Original Borat

"I kiss you". Mahir from turkey is the actual factual Borat, Cohen's character is closely based on this guy's real life! Look out ladies he "like sex"

http://www.istanbul.tc/mahir/mahir

Culture Shock: K.K.Kurenti

homeboys and girls oughta know that im from Slovenia, heres a wacked out tradition they've got there.
Kurenti dress up in furs for a day to scare children, and at night they go hunting for big game! nice!

What Da Vinci?!

An extract from the independant...


Opus Dei Financier Is Found Dismembered Under Bridge
By John Phillips in RomePublished: 22 July 2006

The badly beaten and mutilated corpse of Gianmario Roveraro, one of Italy's reputedly most pious financiers, was discovered "cut to pieces" under a motorway overpass near Parma yesterday, some two weeks after he was kidnapped while returning home from a meeting of the conservative Roman Catholic group Opus Dei.Three people were arrested on suspicion of the kidnapping and macabre murder of Mr. Roveraro, a banker who had been questioned by investigators in connection with the spectacular ($?)14bn (£9.5bn) collapse of the Parmalat food empire in 2003.He was a founder of Akros Finanziaria, a financial services group, and had helped Parmalat list its stock on the market a decade ago.The killing recalled the murder of Roberto Calvi, the Italian financier known as "God's Banker" for his links to the Vatican, who was found hanged from Blackfriars Bridge in London in 1982.Police suspect Mr Roveraro's kidnapping and murder was related to a business dispute over a ($?)500,000 property deal.The purportedly devout Mr. Roveraro vanished on 5 July on his way from attending an evening meeting of the local Milan branch of Opus Dei, of which he, along with many other top-level Italian financiers, was a member.Despite involvement of some its members in a series of financial scandals, Opus Dei enjoyed favour under the late Pope John Paul II, who elevated it to the privileged status of a "personal prelature" within the Church and controversially gave its Spanish founder, Josemaria Escriva, a "fast track" beatification and then canonisation as a saint.The three arrested men were identified as Emilio Toscani, 43, from Collechio, a storekeeper; Marco Baldi, 50, a native of Bologna; and Mr. Botteri, 43, a financial consultant from Parma.Mr. Botteri was quoted as saying he couldn't recall any more about the murder. Police suspect Mr. Roveraro may have been killed several days ago.Mr. Toscani led police to the financier's body, cut up into several parts and decomposing in the summer heat, yesterday morning, police sources said.Since 5 July, Mr Roveraro made several telephone calls within 48 hours, to his wife Silvana and to his business assistants who he asked to sell ($?)1m of shares in a family company. Carabinieri paramilitary police traced the alleged gang by following the signature of public telephone cards used to make calls during ransom negotiations, the sources said. Mr. Roveraro was one of 64 people under investigation in the Parmalat affair and prosecutors had asked for him to be indicted on charges of belonging to a criminal organisation conspiring in fraudulent bankruptcy.He had been on the board of Parmalat's finance subsidiary from 1990 to 1998.A spokesman for Opus Dei said: "Gianmario is not suffering any more now
and is receiving the reward for what he was -- an intelligent, gentle, noble,
and generous person."


"This testimony and the findings of auditors are beginning to tell a story that is much bigger than the tale of a multinational firm that managed to “hoodwink” banks, accounting firms and regulators for decades. It appears that a massive bribery scandal could be uncovered, involving both large banks and high-level government officials — if the investigators would pursue this evidence.

"Adding to the intrigue is the recent death (2004) of a top finance department aide. On January 23, Alessandro Bassi, Fausto Tonna’s right-hand man in the finance department, died in an apparent suicide after falling from a bridge near Parma.
"According to the investigators, Bassi was a material witness who had been “very cooperative” in the investigation.
...
"The types of fraud allegedly carried out by [Parmalat executives] are myriad, with some bearing a similarity to those of Enron ... According to the charges, numerous shell companies were set up to generate fake profits for Parmalat and subsidiaries.

"In addition, Parmalat’s finance director, Fausto Tonna, has told interrogators that he participated in a “cut and paste” forgery, in which a document with Bank of America letterhead was scanned and then added to a document verifying a deposit account with that bank holding over $4.98 billion. The document was then passed through a fax machine several times in order to appear authentic.

Dead Famous

heres your dose of dead famous person o' the week.

how bout this image on a t shirt?

El CHE

note: i'm not some right-wing fanatic who hates che Guevara, I just think this is a pretty narly shot.

Movie O' The Week

whenever I have the patience to do it, I will be posting ___O' The Week.

This week's movie is....

"Scooby-Doo meets the Harlem Globe trotters" 1972
no explanation nesecary.

note: this lame dvd edition cover does not do this film justice, the orignal is oozing 70'sness

Noriega Thug

errbody's favorite banana-republic leader/CIA agent's mugshot!

Manuel "ghetto starr" Noriega was the general of panama (contary to popular belief that he was president) and also a CIA agent, after Panama-USA relations turned sour the CIA went after Noriega for multiple counts of drug trafficking, money laundering and generally being a pretty cool guy.
long story short; he was otherthrown when the USA invaded Panama and tried in 1992. Eventually he was found guilty of drug and racketeering violations and sentenced to 40 big ones.

Can't win 'em all Manuel. Ho hum.

BLACK OUT IN NYC!!!

Due to the recent heat, a black out in new york is almost imenent, although nothing is official; experts are warning against riding the subway unless it is completely nesescary. Manhatten already has four feeders out from yesterdays heat, putting a strain on the whole city's system. It's a good idea to withdraw some cash from an atm while you still can, and stock up on matches etc.
have fun!

You gotta love him

asif being married to courtney love wasn't painfull enough, some guy decides to pound on kurt cobain at a concert

why we heart China

Of course we all love china, human rights violations, deliceous food and air so polluted that it's probably easier to breathe under water. And although he didn't have to, president Jintao has given us another reason to heart china ( he's just that kinda guy!). It is my pleasure to present to you a 37ft rendition of optimus prime.
Thanks China!

pic via haha.nu

Lil jon - airport

dont't you hate it when you're queing to check in at the airport, and a sudo-famous wannabe rapper/producer is holding up the line? well i sure do. a day in the life of lil' john

I'm sure that anyone who has seen this blog (which is probably noone) has realized that it hasn't got a set topic or direction. For the next few weeks I will be making sporadic posts of anything I feel like typing about, until the blog finds it's own direction. So till then sit back, relax and enjoy videos and pictures of people making fools of them selves.

extreme biking to the maximum

a short film of my stoned friend on a bike with me behind the camera, it was funny at the time maybe it's lost it's touch. decide yourself

hey hey, it's up!

Finally, six years late we're up! The blog all you soft suckers have been waiting for is raring to go.

The blog won't really get started until september when I get back from my vacation and get myself a new laptop.
This baby is going to be devoted to anything interresting from limited edition nike sneakers to taliban beheadings, you got a problem? then go look at your sisters porn site.
appart from that stuff my blog will also be devoted to me not correcting my typos, so all you bums that wanna complain about them, don't even start.
so there'll be a few updates now and then, but it ain't starting till september.
Holla!