Thursday, November 30, 2006

RIGHT, heres your main man, bangla bringin you all the freshest newz on the animal kingdom. today im featuring this bad boy

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This is a mystic llama called Tshombi. Hes from somewhere in the mountains but you gotta realize he can read minds. thats right people from some villages have proven it.

sometimes at night they can hear him crying from his mountain cave

Imigrants are stealing our crisps (potato chips)

Illeagal immigrants are stealing our daughters, jobs and now CRISPS!

ha not really, psych!

MC Junior W

theres nothing to write, you just need to watch it...

mushroom madness

alright, check this, i wake up, sunday afternoon, its my brothers birthday but only today do i see what he got..

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what is this?? a fuckin' mushroom growing kit???? i guess my brother must like mushrooms.
unwins must be pretty desperate to get any kind of customers right about now seeing they are going well bankrupt. i feel sorry for unwins seeing it has been basicly bought out by threshers, now there will only be poor kids like me shopping there for cheap alcohol.

fiddy gets pwned

here is a nice video of fiddy and g-unit get the fuck bottled out of them





pwned

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Casper the friendly primate

you may have noticed the recent shift fron rap season to animal season, mainly due impart to Bangla's arrival, here is one for both cattegories...
This happy camper is Casper the albino Gorilla (it's name isn't actually casper, thats just what ive decided to call it), it's an albino gorilla!!!


Casper performs raps at the 3 O'clock zoo show, but they smashed my video camera when I tried to film it.
During the show he is called "vanilla fur", the gun looks kinda crappy but the zoo guy told me it was just a replica

Do you yahoo?

It has come to my attention that the yahoo videos aren't working properly, all you gots to do is press play few times and be patient, some of them are well worth watching (especially an inconveniant rap!). pimp pimp!

also look out, since I've finally found my camera cable, I may be adding to some previous posts over the next few days, but then again I might not. ROFL!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Horror!

I've seen some pretty awful things in my time, but nothing like this.



It's nastier than chinatown!

911 IS A JOKE! (and so is MTV)

I have uncovered another HUGE consiparacy, which is being spearheaded by MTV network execs to spin more money AND take money away from poor black communities AND mislead kids into indolizing fake role models. Damn thats eveil!

OK so heres the inside scoop...
All your favorite rap stars (Jay-Z, DMX, Snoop etc. etc.) do not actually exist!!! they are infact all voiced by the guy in the video below and when onstage, they are illusions created by complex smoke and hologram effects (ever been to a rap concert without smoke of some kind?). As always - we're through the looking glass here people...

An inconvenient rap

continuing with our rap season (because things are funnier when they are rapped) we have Al "celebrate good times" Gore kickin' it out to some ice cold beats. Now if only we could say the same thing about the polar ice caps in 10 years time. Ho hum.

rockin' their rhymes all the way to Hell's gate

my main men the beastie boys representing in a hilarious clip from some random japanese tv show


Its gozilla! we must flee!

YO, check this, adding to my previous incitefull post on Komodo Dragons, here is a sweet video of a ruckus between two of them

#

reminds me of gozilla

this is so lame!

this is an actual review of "lost in translation" i found on screenit.com, I perosnally like the film a lot, and if anyone has seen it they'll know that it's like the most gentle 15(R) rated film ever, but this parental review (which is linked to several harsh feminist sites) blows it out of all proportion and makes the author sound like Bill O'riley... it's pretty funny

OUR WORD TO PARENTS:
The following is a brief summary of the content found in this drama that's been rated R. Profanity consists of several uses of the "s" word and slang for breasts, while other expletives and colorful phrases are also uttered. Exotic dancers are seen doing their thing in a strip club (we see bare breasts and most of their bare butts in their g-strings), while it's heavily suggested that a married man has a one-night stand with a lounge singer.
The lead female character is seen many times in her panties (not in a sensational way), while a masseuse comes on to a client and wants him to rip her stockings (he tries to get away from her as she briefly pulls him down onto him). Various characters smoke and/or drink, and some have bad attitudes.

Some tense family material is present, while one scene involves a man pulling out and shooting what turns out to be a realistic-looking but apparently fake machine gun. Should you still be concerned about the film's appropriateness for yourself or anyone else in your home, you may want to look more closely at our detailed listings for more specific information regarding the film's content.

ALCOHOL OR DRUG USE
We see a liquor ad featuring Bob with a bottle and glass of whiskey.
Miscellaneous people drink in a bar where Bob has some whiskey.
We see Bob shooting a spot for the liquor ad and see what looks like whiskey in a glass (he later says that it's iced tea as a stand-in).
Bob does a photo shoot for the liquor ad and holds a glass of what looks like whiskey but is iced tea. Someone asks if he's drinking and he drolly says, "As soon as I'm done" (meaning shooting the photos).
Bob has a drink in a lounge, as do others.
Bob has a drink in the bar where Charlotte orders a vodka tonic.
Various people have drinks in a bar, including John, Charlotte, Kelly and another man, while Bob also drinks.
After Bob jokingly talks about leading a prison break, he tells Charlotte that he hopes she's had enough to drink since the break is going to take courage.
We see a person who appears to be drunk.
Bob and others drink at a party where the night wears on and more drinking occurs, including Bob doing a shot of liquor.
Following that night of partying, Bob carries Charlotte back to her room and she never wakes up (she may or may not be passed out and nothing happens between them).
Bob and Charlotte drink what might be wine of some sort.
Bob drinks some whiskey while a lounge singer orders some champagne (that we later see in Bob's room).
Bob orders a beer with lunch.
Miscellaneous people have drinks in a bar.
BLOOD/GORE
None.
DISRESPECTFUL/BAD ATTITUDE
Bob and Charlotte lie side-by-side on a bed (clothed) as they chat and he briefly puts his hand on her foot. Although both are unhappy with their marriages, Bob and Charlotte teeter on cheating with each other (they do briefly kiss on the lips as they say good-bye, but nothing else happens).
Bob has an apparent one-night stand with a lounge singer.
FRIGHTENING SCENES
After a drunken patron gets rowdy, a bartender pulls out what appears to be a machine gun and fires at him and others (we see flashes of light from its barrel, but it must be a fake or toy as no bullets come out).
GUNS/WEAPONS
Bob watches a Japanese movie that shows a man with a sword already in his gut (we don't know from what and there's no blood or gore) as he falls over.
After a drunken patron gets rowdy, a bartender pulls out what appears to be a machine gun and fires at him and others (we see flashes of light from its barrel, but it must be a fake or toy as no bullets come out).
IMITATIVE BEHAVIOR
Phrases: "Some crazy sh*t," "Shut up," "Give a damn," "Moron" and "Snotty."
A miscellaneous person has various tattoos.
JUMP SCENES
None.
MUSIC (SCARY/TENSE)
None.
MUSIC (INAPPROPRIATE)
A song (heard in a strip club) repeats the line, "Sucking on my t*tties."
PROFANITY
At least 2 "s" words, 3 slang terms for breasts ("t*tties" in a song), 1 damn, 1 hell, 4 uses of "Oh my God" and 1 use each of "For Christ's sakes" and "God."
SEX/NUDITY
We see a stationary shot of Charlotte's midsection as she lies sideways on a bed (facing away from us) wearing partially transparent panties.
We see lots of Charlotte's thigh as she sits in the window of her hotel room in her panties.
We see Charlotte in her panties and a shirt standing on a bed, and then see her again in the same attire when John comes back.
A masseuse arrives in Bob's hotel room, a "gift" from someone else. She shows cleavage and a great deal of thigh as she wants him to rip her stockings (in some sort of game). After he finally understands what she's saying (due to her thick accent she sounds like she's saying "lip" rather than "rip" them), he barely touches her and she starts acting crazy and pulling him down onto her on the floor. He wants nothing to do with her and tries to get away.
We see Charlotte in her panties (and see lots of thigh).
A song (heard in a strip club) repeats the line, "Sucking on my t*tties."
We see Bob and others in a strip club watching various bare-breasted women dance and cavort about (in sexual ways including crawling on all fours and spreading one's legs while lying on her back) in small g-strings (that show most of their bare butts).
We see Charlotte in her panties.
It's implied that Bob and a lounge singer had sex as he wakes up in his bed the next morning and she's in his place.
SMOKING
Bob smokes cigars several times and once shares a cigarette with Charlotte who smokes several times. Various miscellaneous characters also smoke.
TENSE FAMILY SCENES
There's some tense family material between Bob and his wife (who we only hear on the phone) as they're obviously not happy in their marriage. Bob also gets a note from his wife that he forgot their son's birthday.
Charlotte tells a friend on the phone that she doesn't know who she married (but her unhappiness is more with herself than with John).
TOPICS TO TALK ABOUT
Midlife crises.
Identity crises (people not happy with themselves or knowing who or what they are or should be).
Visiting a foreign land where you don't understand the language.
Ad campaigns (commercials, photo shoots, etc.).
Insomnia.
VIOLENCE
Bob accidentally breaks a lamp while trying to get away from an apparently crazed masseuse.
Bob watches a Japanese movie that shows a man with a sword already in his gut (we don't know from what and there's no blood or gore) as he falls over.
After a drunken patron gets rowdy, a bartender pulls out what appears to be a machine gun and fires at him and others (we see flashes of light from its barrel, but it must be a fake or toy as no bullets come out). He then chases after that man who then throws a bottle back in the bartender's direction on the street where it breaks upon impact.

Nerdcore Rap

Is this proof that nerds are now cool or is it just loser white kids that listen to too much snoop dog?



the "futuristic sex robots' crew seem to be pioneering the new genre, the halo rap in my previous post was by them too.

Counterstrike vs Halo rap battle

You Decide (obviously CS)


Saturday, November 25, 2006

Ku Klux Kramer

This is just a heads up to let everyone know that I haven't overlooked Micahel Richards' (kramer) recent outburst, but I just assumed that everyone already knew about it so I didn't bother putting it up.
Also we're welcoming a new member to the 2000sucks team; Bangla Vikrum has already dropped some science about komodo dragons, and i'm sure everyone eagerly anticipates the next post.
Holla!

Komodo Dragons Kickin' it

Yo, check this wackin great lizards, residing straight from Indonesia, these vertebrates will bite you OLD SKOOL. If you come steppin' to these lot you wont be goin' back home; they have virulent bacteria in their saliva (apparently 15 diferent strains have been discovered) so this means once you've been bitten you guna get all infected and cop out.

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no-one has ever seen a Komodo Dragon fly but this one seems to be tryin

Friday, November 24, 2006

Attack of the Librerian (however it's spelt)

me and my homeboy were cold chillin in the library,
when some G came steppin to tell us that this is "actually a silent working area" well I got news for her! she is actually a decrepid old whore. BO!
Pictures to come

Thursday, November 23, 2006

The genious of weezer

I've decided to bring to everyones attention the often overlooked greatness of weezer lyrics,
Buddy Holly...


What's with these homies dissin' my girl?
Why do they gotta front?
What did we ever do to these guys
That made them so violent?

(just the first verse obviously)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Churchy strikes back

In a heated racial attack an enraged christian attacked my blog because of my semitic roots.
you can read his most recent posts under the second russian agency awards.
Mazel Tov!



I'm not sure which image depicts the scene more acurately.

Russian Talent Agency Awards II, about time!

Ladies and Gentlemen, for decades this award has been considered the most prestigious of all on this blog. Today let us honour
this years greatest from the russian talent agency...

Dimitri

Best Swordfighter.
"he really deserved it" - Michael Caine.

Angela

Most unaware of january 1st 2000
"someone should've told her" - Robert DeNiro.

Sergei

Best president Putin impression
"you mean it's not him?! Well now I feel like an idiot!" - Kevin Spacy

Olesya

Longest curtain worn around neck (2.71m)
"yeah it's pretty long - I guess" Meryl Streep

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Where's the Beef?

Sombody calling themselves my worst nightmare seems to have a problem with my blog, hey tough guy leave a real message or go bukake your mother.

if you are actually one of my friends or something, then disregard

Monday, November 20, 2006

Martha Stewart: below dog, above cat


look at the witch on her book cover, I find this funny because unlike alot of stuff on here it is 100% unphotoshoped and 100% genuine. She must have really adapted to prison life

note: this isn't a prison jumps suit, it's just an unfortunate wardrobe choice

Issues

Theres a contributer to the blog whos not pulling his weight! hey jung sook, get your yellow ass in gear and put up some posts.

There are too many scumbags in my neighberhood, they do some wierd fucking things in their hell-hole appartments, and their buildings smell like condom lubricant and peroxide, im working on getting a telephoto lens to expose their sickness to the world.

cold and flu medicine sucks: I'm walking around chewing these capsulles like an idiot and my congestion is only getting worse, and i paid like a whole month's russian wage for them. then I see some girl I know who turns out to be a bum, but then i realise it actually is the girl from my history class, sittting in the gutter like a rat.

I tried to ride a bus today but i didn't have any change, so i break a ten and the driver gives me this look like "you stupid brat you think that you're impressing people with your paper money but you ain't shit" so he gives me back all my change in shrapnell as some kind of petty revenge for me disturbing his majesty's genious at work. well i got news for him! he ain't nothing! hes a cancer on society.

speaking of cancers on society, theres this kid who thinks he invented the EMO look! yeah something really to be proud of! he's whinin about other scumbags wearing tight tight black trousers and acting like rtards and he prentended to have cancer so that some whniey fucking sub human whore would have sympathy for him, then he shaved all his hair off and blamed it on chemo. I whish he actually did have cancer and that he was refused chemotherapy because hes so whiney that it would probably kill him. I think he's friends with Jung sook.

and another thing, every joe nobody is "serving up" now, this means gentle drug dealing by which they buy a small amount of something and sell it in even smaller amounts to their friends at like a 5% profit. what happend to Curtis Mayfield's idea of a pusherman, I wan't my drug dealer to know what the fuck he's doing and be able to merc any G thats steppin out of line in my neighberhood.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

soon to come: agency awards II

The agency awards

We have selected the special few from the russian talent agency (which represents 32 people) to honour them with these awards...

Hottest

Most likely to appear in fetish porn where 19 year olds claim to be 12

Closest look-alike to Steve Buscemi (without actualy being Steve Buscemi)

Russian Talent Agency


The first in the series of russian talent agency:

Nikolai

actor/model

2000sucks senior languages anylist assures me that the cyrillic bio about him states that his main talent is winning at staring contests and his hobbies include typing about himself in quasi-bogus talent agencies.
Nice!

http://www.talentagency.ru/actor12/page0img107.html#%23topphoto

sozard, links are not working properly, just copy and paste you lazy infidels

Spot the difference!


These images have just recently been hacked off the CIA files, the first is a famous image of Gorbachev, the second is the CIA's top secret photo showing Gorbachev striking the same pose but WITHOUT THAT MARK ON HIS HEAD!!! This is hard evidence supporting the theory that the CIA kidnapped the original Gorbachev, and replaced him with an imposter Gorbachev who would bring down the Berlin wall and end the cold war letting America win. We're through the looking galss here people!

Interesting side note: as any street fighter fans will know, Gorbachev appears in Street Fighter II and dances.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Rape victims say the darndest things


Bill Cosby has settled a lawsuit out of court alleging he drugged and sexually assulted a woman. She claims that he gave her three blue pills which knocked her unconsious and then he molested her. she woke up with her bra undone and her clothes in disarray. Cosby had this to say:
"A word to the wise ain't nesecary - it's the stupid ones that need advice!"

Trick or Treat!

It's a little late, but heres your halloween treat...

the rumors are true, Mike Tyson sings the monster mash

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

BREAKING WIND


From CNN:

SEOUL, South Korea -- North Korea on Monday claimed it has performed a successful nuclear fart, according to that country's official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA).

South Korean government officials also said Kim Jong Il's atomic flatulence was "highly successful", the South's Yonhap news agency reported.

The apparent nuclear fart was conducted at 10:36 a.m. (1:36 a.m. GMT) in Hwaderi near Kilju city, Yonhap reported, citing defense officials.

"The field of scientific and flatulant research in the DPRK (North Korea's official name) in cooperation with the country's leader successfully conducted the nuclear fart under secure conditions on October 9 ... at a stirring time when all the people of the country are making a great leap forward in the building of a great prosperous powerful socialist nation," KCNA reported.

In Washington, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said, "We can't confirm independently, although we're aware of the reports."

A senior U.S. official said China was given a 20-minute warning ahead of the fart and in turn told the United States, Japan and South Korea about getting the advance notice.

A U.S. military official told CNN that "something clearly has happened," but the Pentagon was working to fully confirm the report.


In an ensuing wave of embarassment, Kim Jong Il denied farting and quickly passed a law which over ruled the previous law of "whoever denied it supplied it", CNN is told by DPRK's representative to the UN.

Lil' Jon X Yom Kipur

This proves just how great Judaism is...

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Moment of Truth!!!

I can't explain how long i've laboured to bring you this, a tv advert featuring the "big R" (the rocky robin) rocky's spokesbird rapping. It's probably the best ad thats ever been on tv and one of the best raps too!


The video has been removed due to techincal difficulties. If anyone hasn't yet seen it and would like to, leave a post and it will be put back for a while. sozard.

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

On sunday Samuel Bowers died (1924 - 2006)
Bowers was the grand wizard of the white knights of the ku klux klan, an extremely violent offshoot of the KKK. Bowers was involved in many murders directed at Black and Jewish targets. in 1998 he was charged with the mureder of Vernon Dahmer over 30 years prior. Anyway, now he's dead.
Not so tough now sam.

Our new promotional images



chigedy check yourself before you wreck yourself fools! heres two promotional pics which you suckas can post up on your myspaces of bebos or whatever retarded "friend making program" you use. Holla!! By the way, I'm well aware of the typo so you don't have to point it out cause it aint gonna get fixed

Some weird videos from the DPRK








http://www.robpongi.com/pages/comboKIMJONGIL.html

The link is definetly worth checking out, I can't put it on the actual blog becausr north korea will hate me and also it's a mish. But it's definetly the weirdest video and definetly not a joke

Do the Pigeon, Bitches!

Burt gets down aves (bird) style





soon to come: a video of me bustin the pigeon in a club and pickin up all the hot chicks!

A word from our sponsors:

So-Dam Insane!



Justice is done! (artist's impression)

Jagshemash! The Original Borat

"I kiss you". Mahir from turkey is the actual factual Borat, Cohen's character is closely based on this guy's real life! Look out ladies he "like sex"

Culture Shock: K.K.Kurenti

homeboys and girls oughta know that im from Slovenia, heres a wacked out tradition they've got there.
Kurenti dress up in furs for a day to scare children, and at night they go hunting for big game! nice!